Why your man should be doing better professionally so you don’t have to work or have the choice to work
Author: By Daniel J Bockman
Before you get undone over the title of this article, let me be clear, I said, “have to work” not choose to work. There is a big difference. If you are a married woman in the modern age and you have to work a job or career to help support your household, you just might be married to the wrong man. I know, you probably never heard anyone say this to you but stick with me on this, you need it.
There should be at no time when women “have” to work to support their home life. A man should be able to work and earn the necessary income to support his wife, kids, and household all on his own. This is what men were made to do. I’m not saying that a woman shouldn’t work. Many women have successful professional careers. Many women have fulfilling careers. In fact, women generally have higher job satisfaction than men.
I’m not a sexist or believe a woman’s place is in the kitchen. I love that women work but only if it’s their choice to work. I’m not a misogynist, I’m more of a “man-misogynist” disliking, despising, and strongly prejudiced against weak-minded and professionally lackluster men.
I will never say that women have no place in the work world but, what I am saying is that men need to be doing better and make work a choice for the woman in their life rather than a necessity to maintain a quality of life.
Here’s the situation a lot of women are in today; I get it, you love this guy. He might be the man of your dreams or maybe he was just the best you could find at the time. I understand that he’s cool, dangerous, a rebel, good-looking, great in bed, or even in great shape. But if his greatest accomplishment is nothing more than his mere existence and you have to pick up the slack financially just to be with him, that goes against what you were made to be as a woman.
Look, I understand that someone has to have those $12/hour jobs that we all depend on. The world needs ditch diggers too. But as a woman, I have to ask you, – “at what cost?” Is your quality of life worth the cost only because this great guy in your life can only work the counter at Napa Auto Parts, or stock shelves at Trader Joe’s?
Understand, you as a woman were made differently than us men. Your instincts are suited to be more empathetic and more emotional than men are. That’s what makes the great balance between men and women. Nevertheless, our modern world has made it possible for women to enter the workforce. Don’t get me wrong, this has been a great thing for our world. Women’s contributions to the working world have been nothing short of wonderful. That wonderfulness should then be done by choice, not survival.
Please know this, I’m a man and I’m on your side on this. I think all women should have the choice to work rather than the requirement to work. That choice shouldn’t depend on the kind of man you are with. Men thrive on the pressure and stress for survival. In fact we kind of like it, (or at least should like it). It’s a primal instinct to provide for and protect our families and it’s everything we were made to do.
Ask yourself as a woman, and be honest here, would you enjoy the situation where you had to go out into the harsh world and fight hard to find a way to feed your family? Because here’s the truth, we as men actually enjoy it. We like that pressure and stress to rally a comeback and come out a winner for the benefit of our families. We all know that women can do that too, but if you as a woman had the luxury of a choice, would working a job you hate be your first choice? Again, If your husband made a lot of money, you would you even work at all if you didn’t have to?
Your man should be honored to be doing more than his fair share for his family. He should be the one battling out in the harsh world taking arrows for his family so they do not have to feel his pain. He should be providing for his family not just to survive, but to thrive and do better than just make a living. His family should have more than they need from just his income alone. He should be meeting his family’s basic needs and, saving up money on just what he does on his own. His wife’s income should be a bonus even if she makes more than he does if she so chooses to work.
If this is not the kind of man that you are with now, then you might be with the wrong man. Sorry, I know that can be hard to hear but the truth is rarely kind. However, there is a bright side to all of this. I don’t want to be a total downer for you. You as a woman have 3 basic and instinctive requirements from a man. I call them the three P’s: Protection, Provision, and well… you can guess what the third P is! A man’s responsibilities to his wife are to meet those three P’s at all times. He is supposed to protect you with his life, he is supposed to provide you with far more than you need, and he’s supposed to be blowing your mind in the sack! Many men today are not meeting all of the three P’s. Some men are not meeting any of them!
The bright side of this for you as a woman is that you have choices in this situation. Take it from me, I’m a man and I know what choices women have if they know about them.
First, you could challenge your man to do better.
There is nothing wrong with this. Telling him that he needs to be doing better is far better for you and your family than leaving him for a stronger and more successful man (Although, that is one of your choices.) I’m going to let you in on a little secret about men: their egos are not as fragile as you might think or have been led to believe. Men are tough and can take criticism. However, while a man’s ego is not that fragile, it can still be appealed to. Appealing to a man’s ego is the greatest thing you can do. Challenge him to be the King of his castle and to go out into the world and conquer it like the hero you see him as. Tell him his kids look at him like he’s superman and he’ll actually go out and become superman.
Second, tell him you are not the man of the house.
Tell him that it’s not your responsibility to be the top breadwinner in the house. While you still might be making more than he does, his responsibility is to still be making more than the household requires so that the work you do is on your terms and by your choice. The way the world works is this: ‘your money is your money and his money is our money.’ I understand it’s not fair, but everything about being a man is not supposed to be fair! Fuck fair! You’re a woman, the divine feminine, and the giver of all life. Your work is your work by the means of your own will and he will just have to accept that.
Nothing is supposed to be fair about being a man and your man should be loving this! It’s what he were made for. It’s where all the success lies. The world is supposed to be harder for men! Men are by nature, bigger, stronger, tougher, and less emotional. Men work awful jobs in the heat, cold, mud, and dust. Men fight in wars and are far more likely to be killed in job site accidents. It’s the laws of nature and there is nothing a more sensitive and sophisticated world can do about it. Tell him to “Buck-up” and be a man. Tell him “tough shit” if he complains. Believe me, his father will most likley agree with you on this!
Third, leave him for someone better.
I know that breaking up or worse, divorce is not an attractive option. However, how long are you going to put up with a lifestyle that is not in your nature as a woman? I know the newest thing to hate right now is the tradwife or the stay-at-home mom. The post-modernists now call stay-at-home wives/moms slavery. But I would argue that a woman having to work to support her family because her man doesn’t make enough money is much closer to slavery.
While you may not know it, there are many men out there who want this freedom-based lifestyle for the woman he is with. He likes that he provides more than you need and that you have the choice to work or not. Not all guys are into the boss-babes. He likes women who live their best lives as a result of his work. Have you ever seen a woman driving an $95,000 SUV, enjoying a $15 Starbucks wearing her $130 Lululemon yoga pants on a Tuesday morning to meet with her friends? She doesn’t have a job. Her husband provides this life for her and he does it with pleasure! That man is a King battling in his own court to make sure the Queen of his palace never has to. He makes sure the woman in his life has a choice.
Understand, this is not prince charming or some fantasy knight on a white horse. He’s the kind of man that does more, sacrifices more, and is willing to take the pressure and stress to give everything he has to the woman in his life. These men do exist and they are looking for women like you. Women who want the choice to work or not.
I know what you are thinking. How can I find this man? Well, it’s not easy but anything worth having is not going to be easy. However, one thing that is working in your favor is that a lot of men these days are just pussies. You can spot them right away and avoid them. I would say that a hard day’s work, a rare T-bone steak, a stiff drink, and a good piece of ass all in the same day would kill most modern men these days! Very few men want to risk and work to achieve greater.
The good news is you can recognize the kind of man you are looking for, a man of higher quality, by this one simple thing; he generally never asks for anything. The next time you meet a man that is a little cocky, dropping with self-confidence, never complains, and never asks for what he wants (and still gets it), you are likely dealing with the kind of man that will treat you like the queen you are. He will be an Alpha and he’ll be more masculine.
I get it that the new thing now is we are all supposed to be afraid of the toxic masculine alpha males. But being masculine and toxic just doesn’t work together. Masculine is not only about dominance, a powerful presence, and sexual prowess but also about being kind to women and giving them the life she wants and deserves. Because Alphas generally make more money and are far more successful in business and life, they can afford to give their wives the choice to work or not. There is no such thing as toxic masculinity unless you are a weak-minded beta man and the Alpha is beating you at everything including taking your wife or girlfriend from you.
Just maybe, you are with the wrong man.
I get that it wasn’t always this way. If you were raised in the 70s-90s you likely had two working parents. Times were much different then and there was far less opportunity. Today, however, struggling to get by is now a choice, especially for men. There are no more excuses for not being successful! Too many men have done it now.
A lot of men trade the conveniences of life over a successful life. They rather have what is easy and available now over hard work and strategy for long-term success. A lot of men would rather play video games, play fantasy sports, or go golfing with his other loser buddies on his days off rather than focus on strategic plans for the future of his family.
A man doesn’t always get to do what he wants to do. Living his purpose or following his passions is only a self-made privilege for a man if he is good enough, focused enough, and driven enough to make it support his family. Living your dreams as an artist or working at the bike shop or thinking the best you can do is loading trucks at Home Depot is not going to cut it for her. Your man has to be doing more and a lot of the time, that means not doing what he loves. Sorry, I know it’s not fair.
But I”ll tell you what else isn’t fair. Watching your wife do the same thing only because you are too big of a pussy to go out and do better! If you are a man and are reading this, let me warn you now: Women are going to take back their divine famine and your $15/hour and “livable wage” at McDonald’s is not going to give her the life she deserves. Other, far more successful men know this and they just might take her away from you.
As a woman, ask yourself, are you with the right man? Do you have to have a job so you can be with him? If you quit your job today, would your life with this man fall apart financially? It’s really something you should be thinking about. You should also be thinking about your kids. Is the mediocre man in your life the kind of man that you want your kids to aspire to?
Remember, Alexander the Great, Napoleon Bonaparte, and Julius Caesar all “actually” conquered the world when they were his age now. Their wives never had to work.